.png)
Have you ever second-guessed your own thoughts, wondering if maybe you’re overreacting or just not seeing things clearly? That voice in your head telling you “It’s not that bad,” or “Maybe I just misunderstood” can be more than just a passing thought—it can be a form of self-doubt that’s surprisingly common, known as internal gaslighting.
Internal gaslighting happens when we convince ourselves that our own perceptions or feelings aren’t real or valid. We downplay our experiences, often brushing them off as misunderstandings. It’s an unsettling and frustrating feeling, especially when it keeps us from speaking up or trusting ourselves. What’s more, it often happens without us even noticing.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with self-doubt in this way, constantly questioning their own thoughts and feelings. But recognizing it is the first step to breaking free. Let’s look at what internal gaslighting really is, why it happens, and how you can start trusting yourself again.
What's Holding You Back?
Why do we gaslight ourselves? One reason is that we’ve learned, over time, to doubt our instincts. Perhaps someone once told us we were “too sensitive” or that we tend to “overthink things.” Over time, these messages can creep in, making us feel like our own experiences aren’t trustworthy.
Think of a time you felt strongly about something but brushed it off, thinking you were just being dramatic. It’s these small moments of self-doubt that, repeated over and over, can turn into internal gaslighting. For example, let’s say you’re upset after a friend cancels plans repeatedly. Instead of acknowledging that it’s okay to feel hurt, you might tell yourself, “I’m probably just overreacting. They’re busy.” While this seems harmless, it adds up.
When we constantly dismiss our feelings, we end up feeling lost and unsure. Our inner voice, the one meant to guide us, becomes muffled. Instead, we start to believe that maybe we can’t trust our own mind. It’s like having an internal tug-of-war—our true feelings on one side, and our self-doubt on the other.
Breaking this habit isn’t easy, but it starts with noticing these patterns and understanding that your feelings are valid, even if they don’t always “make sense” to everyone else.
Discovering the Path Forward
Learning to trust yourself again begins with acknowledging that your feelings are real and valid. Imagine how a good friend would listen to you—without judgment, ready to support. Try to extend that same level of empathy to yourself. When you feel a pang of doubt, pause and ask, “What’s making me feel this way?”
Recognize that it’s okay to feel unsure sometimes. Everyone does. But instead of brushing these feelings off, try to sit with them and see if there’s a reason behind them. Often, emotions are signals. For instance, if you feel overlooked by a friend, maybe it’s because you genuinely want more connection. These moments of self-reflection can help you tune back into your real needs and concerns.
Another helpful strategy is writing things down. Keeping a journal can give your thoughts a safe space to be heard. When you put feelings into words, they can feel more concrete. Even a simple daily note about how you’re feeling can help you start to recognize and validate your emotions.
And if self-doubt creeps in, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, treat it like a habit you’re working to change, just as you would with any other pattern of thought. Over time, you’ll notice it becoming easier to trust your feelings and experiences.
Simple Steps to Start Today
Let’s look at a few ways you can start breaking the cycle of internal gaslighting and build more trust in yourself:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: When a strong feeling arises, recognize it without judgment. It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling. There’s no “right” way to react.
Challenge Self-Doubt: The next time you think, “Maybe I’m overreacting,” pause and consider if that’s true, or if it’s just a habit. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid, even if they seem intense.
Write It Out: Journal about what you’re experiencing. Sometimes seeing your thoughts on paper can make them feel more real and help you process them.
Ask for Feedback: If you’re really unsure, talk to someone you trust. Ask them if they can relate to what you’re feeling. Often, we find we’re not alone in our reactions.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend. Remind yourself that you’re human and that self-doubt is normal.
Starting with these small steps can help you gain a clearer, kinder perspective on your own experiences.
Igniting Your Motivation
Building self-trust takes time, but it’s a journey worth starting. Remember, overcoming internal gaslighting is less about banishing doubt entirely and more about learning to live alongside it, without letting it control you. Imagine how empowering it would feel to confidently recognize your feelings without second-guessing yourself.
Consider others who have gone through similar struggles and come out stronger. Perhaps you know someone who once hesitated to speak up but now shares their thoughts freely. These stories are reminders that change is possible and that self-trust can grow with time.
If you ever feel frustrated along the way, remind yourself that every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Some days, self-doubt may creep in, but as you continue this work, it will feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Each time you recognize a feeling or catch yourself doubting, you’re making progress. Over time, you’ll feel stronger and more comfortable in trusting your inner voice.
Insights from Dr. Peter Gagliardo
Dr. Peter Gagliardo, a specialist in emotional resilience, has seen how internal gaslighting impacts people’s lives. According to Dr. Gagliardo, “Dismissing our own feelings can lead to chronic self-doubt and even anxiety.” He emphasizes that learning to validate our own experiences is crucial for mental well-being.
In Dr. Gagliardo’s work, he encourages people to challenge self-doubt by creating positive self-talk habits. “When you question your thoughts,” he says, “you’re taking the first step toward rewriting the narrative.” His approach is centered on self-compassion, urging individuals to treat themselves as they would a trusted friend.
Dr. Gagliardo’s insights remind us that self-validation isn’t about being overly confident; it’s about being kind to ourselves and accepting our emotions as valid. With his guidance, many are finding new ways to reconnect with their inner voices and trust themselves more deeply.
Take Your Next Step Toward Self-Trust
Ready to break the cycle of internal gaslighting? Start by taking small, gentle steps toward validating your own feelings and experiences. Consider scheduling a free discovery call with us at Worcester Holistic Health and Wellness to explore more ways to build self-trust.
Together, we can create a plan to help you connect with and trust your inner voice.
You deserve to feel confident in your own thoughts and emotions. Let’s work on it together—step by step.
Kommentarer