Be the Thermostat, Not the Thermometer: How to Set the Energy Instead of Absorbing It

There are two kinds of people in every room.

The first kind walks in and adjusts to the energy around them.

They shrink when others gossip.

They stay silent when negativity fills the air.

They match the mood, mirror the dysfunction, and blend into the background.

They are the thermometer—they read the temperature… but they don’t change it.

And then there’s the second kind.

The ones who walk in and shift the atmosphere.

They don’t wait for permission to lead.

They don’t absorb energy—they set it.

They are the thermostat.

They decide the temperature of the room—and everyone else adjusts to them.

The question is:

👉 Which one are you?

Because here’s the truth:

If you don’t set the tone, something else will.

Fear. Gossip. Low morale. Distraction. Chaos.

And if you’re not intentional, you’ll find yourself aligning with energy that isn’t even yours… wondering why you feel off, drained, or disconnected.

But you’re not here to blend in.

You’re here to become the person who commands a room—without ever raising your voice.

You walk in with presence.

With character.

With the kind of energy that invites people to rise.

This isn’t about control. It’s about congruence.

Because when you know who you are…you don’t get pulled into the chaos.

You set the conditions.

You anchor the space.

You change the climate.

The Hidden Cost of Absorbing Everyone Else’s Energy

Let’s be honest: it’s easy to match the room.

To lower your light when others are dim.

To hold back your truth when the crowd leans cynical.

To feel good… only if everyone else does.

But here’s the danger:

When you live like a thermometer, constantly reacting to the external environment, you give your power away—bit by bit, breath by breath.

Think of it like this:

You're walking into a smoky room.

No one opens a window.

No one leaves.

You just sit there, adjusting to the haze… and calling it “normal.”

Until your own clarity gets fogged.

Your own lungs start to burn.

And you forget, you were breathing clean air before you got here.

This is what emotional mimicry looks like.

You didn’t choose the gossip—but you nodded along.

You didn’t feel the anger—but now your jaw is tight.

You weren’t anxious—but suddenly your chest is buzzing like the rest of them.

The truth?

👉 If you don’t set the emotional climate, you’ll inherit someone else’s storm.

👉 And if you keep absorbing, you’ll forget how to radiate.

This isn’t about blame.

It’s about awareness.

Most people don’t even realize they’re mirroring the room.

They think they’re being polite. Adaptable. Easygoing.

But what if that “politeness” is actually a disconnection from your own leadership?

You were never meant to blend in to survive.

You were meant to lead with presence.

Become the Climate—Not the Casualty

There’s a moment—every day—where you get to decide who’s in charge of your energy.

You… or the room.

That’s the thermostat moment.

It’s not loud. It doesn’t come with a spotlight.

It often happens quietly, when you walk into chaos… and choose not to join it.

When you feel the pull of gossip, anger, doubt—and instead of reacting, you anchor.

Let’s be clear: being the thermostat doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine.

It means holding your tone so firmly that others feel it.

It means walking into a room with so much alignment, people start adjusting without even realizing it.

Think of it like emotional gravity.

You don’t demand it.

You become it.

That kind of presence comes from clarity.

And clarity comes from one simple truth:

👉 You don’t need to match the room to belong in it.👉 You belong wherever you show up aligned.

Instinct will tell you to fit in.

To nod along. To dim your light to avoid tension.

But truth will tell you this:

You were meant to lead the emotional climate.

Not absorb it. Not survive it.

Set it. Shape it. Shift it.

Because every time you choose calm in a storm…Every time you choose kindness in a cold room…Every time you stay grounded when others spin…

You make the invisible visible.

You invite others to breathe deeper.

You remind them what leadership feels like.

Not force.

Not control.

Just presence.

Power. Peace. You.

5 Steps to Lead the Energy in Any Room

You don’t need a title to lead.

You don’t need permission to shift the energy.

You just need intention—and a few grounded tools to embody it.

Here’s how to walk in like the thermostat and leave every room better than you found it:

1. Pause Before You Enter

Before you walk into any space—physical or digital—take a moment.

Set your internal climate.

Ask yourself: What energy do I want to bring?

That single question creates distance between reactivity and leadership.

You don’t walk in to match—you walk in to model.

2. Breathe Like You Belong

People feel your nervous system before you say a word.

Breathe low, slow, and from the belly.

It signals safety, not just to you, but to everyone around you.

Because when you exhale with presence… others start to remember they can too.

3. Speak From the Center, Not the Crowd

When people gossip, complain, or spiral… you get to redirect.

Not with judgment. With grounded truth.A well-placed:

“Hey, I don’t really vibe with that—let’s shift the convo.”…can ripple louder than a lecture.

4. Hold the Vibe, Even When It’s Uncomfortable

Thermostats don’t adjust every time someone walks past.

They hold the setting.

You’re not being rude for staying calm when others are panicking.

You’re modeling regulation.

You’re showing another way.

5. Leave the Space Lighter Than You Found It

Whether it’s a family dinner, staff meeting, or group text—ask yourself:

Did I leave this space more clear, kind, or conscious than I found it?

That’s what leadership looks like—subtle, powerful, undeniable.

How Maya Stopped Absorbing and Started Leading

Maya used to describe herself as an “emotional sponge.”She could walk into a room feeling fine, and leave with a pounding headache, tight chest, and someone else’s anxiety sitting in her gut.

At work, she absorbed her team’s stress.

At home, she mirrored her family’s mood.

She didn’t speak up in group settings, didn’t challenge gossip, and constantly second-guessed her gut just to “keep the peace.”

But the peace never came.

When she came to Worcester Holistic, Maya wasn’t looking to become a leader.

She just wanted to feel like herself again.

What she got… was more than relief.

She got her power back.

Through our work together—using hypnosis, breathwork, and identity anchoring—Maya began to see her sensitivity as a strength, not a liability.

She stopped trying to manage other people’s emotions… and started managing her own energy instead.

The shift was subtle at first.

She paused before entering meetings.

She visualized her internal thermostat each morning.

She practiced responding instead of reacting.

And something wild started to happen:

Her coworkers began deferring to her in meetings.

Her family became less chaotic around her.

Even her therapist noticed—“You feel more solid. Like your center of gravity moved.”

Because it did.

“I used to match the room,” Maya told me.“Now I set it. And I didn’t even realize how powerful that would feel.”

Dr. Peter Gagliardo on Emotional Leadership and Energy Sovereignty

Dr. Peter Gagliardo has helped thousands of clients stop reacting to their environment and start recalibrating it.

Whether it's a workplace, a family dynamic, or your own inner critic, your nervous system is either reading the energy… or rewriting it.

“You don’t need to control the room,” Dr. Gagliardo says.“You just need to control your state. And from there, everything shifts.”

At Worcester Holistic Health & Wellness, the focus isn’t on willpower—it’s on nervous system regulation, identity anchoring, and subconscious reprogramming.

Through a fusion of:

• Hypnosis (to bypass overthinking and embed presence)

• CBT (to reframe disempowering mental loops)

• Energy practices and breathwork (to stabilize the body)

…clients learn how to walk in clean, stay centered, and lead by example.

Dr. Gagliardo emphasizes one truth over and over:

“If you’re absorbing the room, you’re not in your full self.When you lead the room, you reclaim your peace.”

And from that place of peace, real leadership begins.

The Room Doesn’t Set You—You Set the Room

You don’t need to raise your voice to be powerful.

You don’t need to control people to create change.

You just need to own your energy—so deeply, so fully—that others feel safer in your presence than they did in your absence.

This is what real leadership looks like.

Because the world doesn’t need more people matching the chaos.

It needs more thermostats.

People who walk in with calm. With clarity. With conviction.

And here’s the truth:

👉 You don’t have to earn that power.

👉 You already have it.

You just haven’t been taught how to trust it.

So starting today,

When you walk into a room, don’t scan for what’s wrong.

Set what’s right.

Choose who you want to be—and let that energy do the talking.

You’re not here to blend in.

You’re here to lead from the inside out.

If you're ready to stop absorbing everyone else's energy and start owning your own—

👉 Book Your Free Strategy Session

Let’s make sure the next room you walk into… adjusts to you.