What Squeezing an Orange Can Teach You About People Who Hurt You

If you squeeze an orange, what comes out?

Juice, of course.But not just any juice—what was already inside.

You can press it, shake it, or cut it open…but no matter how you do it, only what’s within can come out.

Now take that same truth—and apply it to people.

When someone lashes out, insults you, gossips behind your back, or tries to tear you down, it’s easy to take it personally.

To wonder: What did I do wrong? Why are they like this with me?

But here’s the truth:

They’re just being squeezed.

By stress. By pain. By insecurity. By their own internal storm.

And what comes out of them… is what was already inside.

That comment?That projection?That moment they tried to make you feel small?

👉 It wasn’t about you.

It was never about you.

It was about what they’re carrying that hasn’t been healed.

And once you understand this—deep in your bones—you stop absorbing other people’s pain.

You start seeing their outbursts for what they really are:

Unprocessed emotions leaking out under pressure.

You don’t excuse it.

You don’t accept disrespect.

But you also don’t mistake it for truth.

Because when you know who you are…you stop confusing someone else’s bitterness with your value.

Hurt People Leak—Not Lead

Everyone carries something.

Stress. Grief. Guilt. Insecurity. Unmet needs.

And most of the time, people don’t even realize how full they are—until life squeezes them.

Then it happens:

A snide comment.

A passive-aggressive text.

A sudden outburst that seems way bigger than the moment deserves.

And just like that, they spill.

But here’s the key:

👉 No one can pour out what they don’t already have inside.

You don’t squeeze an orange and get apple juice.

You don’t pressure someone and get kindness if they’ve been bottling resentment for years.

What comes out… was already there.

So when someone tries to shame you, silence you, or make you feel like you’re the problem, pause before you absorb it.

Ask yourself:

“Is this really about me? Or is this a leak from their unhealed place?”

Most of the time?

They’re not trying to destroy you.

They’re trying to relieve their own pain—clumsily, unconsciously, and sometimes harmfully.

But when you understand this, you gain a superpower:

You stop reacting.

You start discerning.

You hold your center—even when they lose theirs.

Because what comes out of them is a mirror of them.

Not a reflection of you.

You Don’t Have to Swallow What Was Never Yours

When someone throws emotional daggers, your instinct might be to duck, defend, or strike back.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t have to catch what was never meant for you.

Just because someone hands you their pain… doesn’t mean you have to carry it.

Let’s flip the script.

Instead of asking:

“Why did they say that to me?” Ask:“What must they be going through to say that at all?”

Instead of wondering:

“Did I do something wrong?” Remember:“They’re showing me what’s wrong inside them.”

Because emotional projection is just unprocessed pain looking for a landing spot.

And if you’re not rooted, that landing spot becomes you.

But you get to choose differently.

👉 You can let their storm pass… without standing in the rain.

👉 You can witness their hurt… without making it your truth.

This doesn’t mean you tolerate disrespect.

It means you protect your peace by remembering this:

You are not what they said.

You are not what they projected.

You are not their unfinished healing.

You are someone who sees clearly.

Who stays grounded.

Who knows that what comes out of others has everything to do with them, and nothing to do with your worth.

That’s emotional leadership.

And it’s a skill you can build—one choice, one breath, one boundary at a time.

5 Steps to Stay Grounded When Others Project

You can’t stop people from leaking their pain.

But you can stop it from landing on you.

Here’s how to stay rooted in your truth—even when someone else is unraveling in front of you:

1. Pause Before You Personalize

That first emotional hit? It’s tempting to absorb it.

But give yourself a beat. One breath.

Ask: “Is this mine?”Most of the time, you’ll realize—it’s not. It never was.

👉 Reaction creates chaos. Reflection creates power.

2. Picture the Orange

Literally.

Visualize that person as an orange being squeezed.

Juice comes out—not because of you, but because of pressure on them.

This metaphor rewires your mind to detach from blame and anchor in clarity.

3. Repeat the Reframe

Say it to yourself like a mantra:

“This is about them, not me.”“What comes out is what’s already inside.”“I don’t swallow what doesn’t belong to me.”These affirmations create emotional boundaries—no shouting required.

4. Redirect Your Energy Inward

After a triggering interaction, turn your focus inward.

What do you need to feel grounded again?

A walk, a breath, a journal entry, a boundary?

Self-regulation is leadership. You can’t lead others from emotional depletion.

5. Lead With Curiosity, Not Confrontation

If you choose to engage, come from calm.

Say:

“That felt sharp—are you okay?” Or:“I’m wondering what’s going on underneath that.”Sometimes, people just need to be seen in their struggle—not matched in their chaos.

How Jess Stopped Absorbing Everyone’s Emotions

Jess used to call herself a “walking sponge.”

If someone was anxious, she’d feel it in her chest.

If someone snapped at her, it would ruin her whole day.

If someone made a snide comment, she’d spend hours wondering what she did wrong.

“I just wanted people to like me. But I ended up carrying everyone’s emotions but my own.”

She came to Worcester Holistic not to learn boundaries—she didn’t even know that’s what she needed.

She came because she was tired—physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Together, we unpacked what was happening:

• She wasn’t sensitive in a bad way—she was highly attuned.

• She wasn’t weak—she just had no filter for emotional projection.

• She wasn’t broken—she was just never taught how to protect her energy.

We started small.

• A breath before every interaction.

• A pause after every comment that stung.

• A mantra: “What comes out is what’s already inside.”

The change was subtle… until it wasn’t.

One day, her sister came over in a whirlwind of stress and sarcasm.

Jess would normally shrink or snap. But this time, she exhaled, smiled softly, and said:

“Sounds like it’s been a rough day. Want to talk about what’s really going on?”

Her sister cried.

Not because Jess fixed her.

But because, for once, Jess didn’t absorb her pain.

She held space for it instead.

That was the shift.

Jess became the orange that stayed whole, even when life squeezed.

“Now I don’t get thrown by other people’s moods,” she told me.“I stay with me. And I can finally breathe.”

Dr. Peter Gagliardo on Emotional Projection and Nervous System Safety

Dr. Peter Gagliardo has worked with thousands of clients who’ve spent years internalizing what was never theirs to carry.

“The number one shift I teach,” Dr. Gagliardo explains,“is learning how to separate someone’s reaction from your reality.”

When someone criticizes you, dismisses you, or lashes out, your nervous system doesn’t always know the difference between danger and projection.

It just registers the sting.

That’s why even small interactions can feel huge.

But here’s the good news:

You can rewire how you respond.

At Worcester Holistic Health & Wellness, the process includes:

• ✅ Hypnosis to clear old emotional patterns

• ✅ Somatic tools to regulate the body when triggered

• ✅ CBT-based reframes to build emotional resilience

• ✅ Identity anchoring so you stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking, “What’s going on with them?”

Dr. Gagliardo emphasizes:

“Emotional maturity isn’t about never getting triggered—it’s about not taking ownership of what’s never been yours.”

And when you live that way?

You stay calm in conflict.

You stay rooted in truth.

You stop making someone else’s outburst your identity.

You’re Not What Comes Out of Them

People will get squeezed.

Life will pressure them.

Words will fly that sting, confuse, and cut deep.

But none of it defines you.

Because what comes out of others…is what was already inside them.

And what stays with you?

That’s your choice now.

You are not the sponge.

You are not the punching bag.

You are not the wounded echo of someone else’s pain.

You’re the orange—whole, steady, grounded.

You don’t leak.

You lead.

So the next time someone lashes out or tries to dim your light, pause.Breathe.And remember:

👉 This isn’t about me.

This is what’s inside of them.

And I choose what I absorb.

That choice?

It’s not just emotional mastery.

It’s freedom.

If you’re ready to stop internalizing everyone else’s pain and finally reclaim your emotional center—

👉 Book Your Free Strategy Session

Let’s help you stay whole, no matter who or what tries to squeeze you.