Let's take a quick look at trauma, its origins, and symptoms, and then how it can affect your relationship. How trauma affects a relationship depends on your unique experiences, but there are some typical reactions as well.
In many cases, trauma survivors may behave in ways that are difficult for their partners to understand. Childhood trauma can also affect relationships in how you interact with others as an adult.
Traumatic incidents that occurred in childhood can become part of the adult attachment style. Childhood experiences can create certain attachment styles that persist into adulthood. These experiences can affect our attachment styles or how we function in our relationships.
Trauma in adulthood can also change attachment style because trauma affects how we see the world in general. Both childhood trauma and adult trauma can have a significant impact on our current relationships with our partners. Trauma affects not only our adult relationships but also our partners.
When it comes to relationships, trauma can undermine a person's ability to feel secure. In the long run, the reaction to trauma can lead to conflicts in intimate and platonic relationships. In conflict, reacting to trauma can cause a lot of tension, and there are times when it can be difficult for your partner to feel a sense of control over their behavior.
If the trauma occurred in an intimate relationship, such as with a spouse or long-term partner, it may be difficult to communicate comfortably in an intimate relationship. Spouse and partner may also experience the emotional impact of trauma together. While trauma can have a major impact on a person, it can also create enormous stress in a relationship. Everyone reflects on and recovers from trauma differently, which affects the relationships, trust, and overall sense of security that each person experiences differently.
While these responses are unique to each person and relate to their specific traumatic experience, there are ways to deal with the effects of trauma in a relationship.
They can be costly and affect people's ability to trust, form strong bonds, and cope with extremely debilitating symptoms. Sometimes being in a relationship with someone who has a history of trauma can be especially challenging.
If you have had trauma in the past, you may find that it has taken a toll on your relationship. After experiencing a stressful or traumatic situation, many people may find that their relationship has been affected. Trauma survivors often go on to lead normal lives, but the effects of trauma can affect mood, motivation, and relationships. One of the challenges of trauma recovery is the mood swings we may experience due to pain, long-term treatment experiences, and symptoms of post-traumatic stress.
Many trauma survivors feel emotional numbness and have difficulty experiencing or expressing happy emotions in a relationship. Sometimes people who have been traumatized feel emotionally more distant. In the context of a relationship, a person with unresolved trauma is more likely to dissociate whenever problems or feelings arise that they are uncomfortable with, such as moments of tension or conflict.
When entering a relationship, a person with a traumatic childhood may subconsciously recall old wounds (for example, constantly looking for partners who look like an abusive parent) and thus re-traumatize in every relationship. Coping with emotional or physical relationship abuse, family dysfunction, childhood trauma, near-death experiences, or other forms of trauma can negatively impact beliefs about relationships. If trauma has altered early attachment, survivors can often end up in unhealthy relationships as adults, and this can affect their parenting style. Childhood trauma can destroy secure attachment, which is an important part of developing a healthy adult capable of forming and maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships.
Childhood experiences lay the foundation for what our overall attachment style will be throughout life, how we connect with another person, and how we react emotionally when that person is separated from us. You may already be familiar with how childhood emotional trauma can affect us as adults. Whether it's feeling like a lifelong victim even when you're years away from what hurt you, acting passive-aggressively when you're upset, going passive, or creating a fake and always happy version of yourself, there are many ways to keep childhood emotional trauma alive. affect you even after you grow up.
Whether trauma occurs in childhood or adulthood, it can change the way you see yourself and the world. Unresolved trauma is the filter through which you see the world and all your relationships. When this trauma remains unresolved and you experience yourself in an incomplete way, broken in some way, it is likely to have an impact on your relationship.
When your emotional health is compromised and you continue to struggle all your life, "sucking it up" without resolving the trauma that has arisen, the traumas will continue to deepen, mainly in how you perceive and feel about yourself, and then you will merge into your relationships. with significant others. When you experience a trauma, whether it be a single event or an extended series of events, it affects your life until you resolve it. People can be injured as a result of a single event, such as an accident, sexual assault, or natural disaster.
Rather than being negatively impacted by trauma, relationships can be deepened through the process of surviving and healing from life-changing events. Relationships can survive trauma if both parties are willing to work hard to heal.
There are ways to become a trauma-aware and compassionate partner while maintaining your boundaries and safety in a relationship. It is important for trauma survivors to communicate with their partners regularly so that they know how to support them. You are offering support to someone who is going through trauma, so it is imperative that you take excellent care of yourself and that you receive the emotional support and guidance you will need during this difficult time.
Here are some ways to start helping your partner and better understand trauma and relationships. It may be helpful to discuss traumatic experiences, feelings of pain, and interpersonal difficulties with a professional familiar with the complex consequences of trauma. Difficulties in relationships can exacerbate pain, so it can be helpful to regularly discuss these events with a professional familiar with the complex effects of trauma.
Treatment can be important, especially in cases where both spouses have a history of trauma. When survivors of early trauma are finally able to find comforting connections with therapists and partners, the relationship between couples can also begin to foster deep healing. In a relationship, a history of trauma is not just an issue for a person to address. Research shows that people with childhood trauma report lower relationship quality and higher levels of insecure attachment.